If I'm honest, it's sex that does it. Or rather, the fear of missing out on it. It's true, though. What if every woman's mouth held some kind of answer? What if each kiss lessened the mystery? Or deepened it? But there's just me swirling in space and all those prior failed attempts. I can get on Reddit and try to force another, but there must be some reason why no one has worked out so far.
Ah, but you have had kisses. Kisses in ice cream shops and airports. International kisses. Blue-haired kisses even.
But it hasn't been enough. I want more.
Because you're addicted.
To what? Women?
To avoiding yourself. Accept yourself. Believe that what's meant for you will be for you.
But what if nothing is meant for me?
That's ok. Put the phone away and go to sleep. Accept that there is beauty in empty spaces. Find it.
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てつやする