I think that, even then, I suspected that I was living through one of the happier moments of my life. The ky was grey and there was a cool wind and mom and I were outside in it. She was gardening or something and was simply tossing a plastic Winn Dixie bag into the air and letting the wind grab it so I could tackle it back down. I think this made my little sister laugh. I think there was also a magic-hour-pinkness in the sky.
Mom was happy. She didn't want me to grow up and neither did I. But nothing could stop that and I came to accept things while she never did. Now a different kind of coolness separates us.
I don't know who she resents for the inevitable effects of time. I know she's angry at me. I know she hasn't done the work. I know there weren't enough of those finer moments like that brief one, as we approached that autumn evening together, in our own way.
すずしい